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Homer: Hmm. I wonder why he's so eager to go to the canoe shed.
Moe: The canoe shed? Hey, fellas, the canoe shed! Ooh, la-di-da, Mr. French Man!
Homer: Well, what do you call it?
Moe: A boathouse.
-The Simpsons, Season 6, episode 23; The Springfield Connection
I had never heard the phrase "canoe shed" before it came up in a podcast i was listening to, but it's a real thing according to Google. Good enough. Let's go!
Writing a Fake Talking Heads song gives you superpowers. Ordinarily, you might stay in one key for consistency, or use minor chords where appropriate. We are now free of these rules.
The chorus lyrics come pretty fast, before I write anything down. I use an accordion to try a couple different progressions in C. I really like G F Dm, which becomes G F D, for further Talking Cred (and to give a backing vocalist something to do). Teasing out where the verse goes, I jump to E and just let the chords drone.
I realize the first verse takes place in the cafeteria and the chorus is in the titular canoe shed, so I leave a big space for a second verse, or a possible prechorus, to get our poor protagonist from A to C.